Age is just a number

Age is just a number
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Let me tell you, I never had to LIE about my age...
As luck would have it my age was kind of a mystery, People NEVER seemed to get it right.
It began when I was very 3, all my relatives always thought I was older than my brother, when in fact he was 2 years older than me.
My mother tried tirelessly to make him look older.
He was plastered with copious amounts of "cod liver oil" given every health protein and vitamin known to mankind, but much to my brother's misery I always remained just a tad bit taller
Ironically whilst at the home front I looked older, at school fate played a cruel game with me.
None of my teachers every believed I was a day older than 6.
One day I was minding my own business, sitting comfortably after lunch break, listening to the drone of my substitute teacher's voice and almost dozing off into that delicious afternoon power nap.
Through my barely open eyes, I noticed a sari clad figure right in front of me.
I was jolted awake. She then Began " you are supposed to be in UKG no??”
Amidst the giggles and snickering i felt my self-dragged from one UKG section to another.
I felt like a convict in a police lineup, each teacher surveyed me suspiciously and nodded their heads.
After all the UKG teachers refused to take ownership of me, I was dragged back to my class, standard 3.
She finally decided my opinion would matter, "what is your name?" she began
"Madam Amrutha, I’m in this class"
She bit her lip and nodded disapprovingly, she opened the class register “roll number??" she enquired.
"Roll number 1 madam"
"Ah, there you are, go back and sit down”
That was it, no "Sorry”, no mention of the humiliating dragging.
In standard 3 children rarely hold grudges, In fact I was more than happy to reclaim my seat to resume my afternoon siesta.
Age was just a number; and math was never a favorite
Middle school went through in a flurry of mistaken identity.
When I made my foray into high school I assumed people had grown well accustomed to my puny-ness.
I assuaged my ego by saying that I was “the one who led the troops”
Well it wasn’t all a lie, by that I meant that I was so short that I stood first in all lines.
By the time I was in college the vitamins fed into my brother finally kicked in, he was taller and also had an unmentioned side effect a receding hair line!!
My mother’s praying and hard work finally paid off, my bother looked older… who am I kidding?
He looked OLD!
My issues were a little more complex!
I had bunked my classes one day and went to watch a movie in a nearby multiplex.
I would say this incident as simple as it may sound turned out to be quite eventful!
This was an English movie and much awaited and the ticket stands were swarming with fellow bunkers.
We managed to scrounge 3 tickets.
We entered one by one, opening our backpacks for the routine checks,
Just as I was about to enter, the lady checking said “Identification please”.
Nonplussed, I enquired “why?” She replied authoritatively “This movie is certified as Adult”
Before all your minds start to wonder, let me tell you that most English movies are harshly certified.
I mean “Baby’s day out” was PG!!
“But I am 19” I said meekly, as luck would have it I did not have any ID on me.
So long story short… I buckled under the pressure of the dirty looks which were shot in my direction, the other people were really eager to get in, so I bowed out rather gracefully.
I yielded to the pleading looks of my friends who thought the movie was more important, and continued without me.
Age was just a number and what I learnt was you are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime


Started my tryst with work life and this brought some lovely perks in to my life.
I noticed that people stopped questioning me about my age, no cases of mistaken identity.
I took this as a welcome change.
Little did I know…..
It took a fateful trip to a well-known skin clinic for me to realize what had happen.
I got some free skin treatment coupons from a friend and like any Indian wanted to milk it for its complete worth.
I walked into this clinic and waited my turn.
I was duly whisked away for some free medical advice, I could not be happier.
The doctor looked at me and scribbled on her notebook furiously.
She looked up when she was done and sighed … she said “well, there are some deep issues”
She then pulled out a face diagrammed and scribbled some lines on them,
“These are your laugh lines and you have some wrinkles as well around your eyes”
Pretty normal, I thought to myself.
You need an immediate Botox treatment.
My eyes grew wide in disbelief, “you must be joking I asked her”
“No” she said, “I did a quick face-age test” she continued as I hung on her every word incredulously.
“What is it?” I asked breathlessly …
“It is 32 “she announced.
For another hour she droned on about how I needed all the treatment she was suggesting, I felt like a terminally ill patient.
I walked out utterly demoralized, this was it!!!! 32?? How could she?
I had come a full circle…. Old—young--old again!!!!
I was walking up to the stairs leading to my house, sad and OLD, when I heard a voice call out to me.
“Hi!!” I looked up and recognized her; she was an old acquaintance of my granny’s.
“How are you? It has been a while “she continued “by the way have you finished school?”
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.